The Four Feet Rule That Might Finally Get You Strength Training in Perimenopause

You know you should strength train.

Especially now that you’re in your 40s and everyone seems to be telling you how important strength training is for maintaining muscle, staying strong, and being able to do the things you want to do as you get older.

But knowing you should strength train and actually knowing how to start strength training are two very different things.

Because the minute you decide you’re going to start, the questions begin.

Should I join a gym?

Should I work out at home?

Should I use machines or dumbbells?

How many days a week should I strength train?

How heavy should I lift?

How many sets and reps?

What if I do something wrong?

What the heck is a Romanian deadlift—and am I supposed to know how to do one?

Before you’ve even picked up a dumbbell, you’ve created an entire part-time job in your head.

And suddenly, strength training feels so overwhelming that it’s easier to do nothing.

If that sounds familiar, I want to tell you about something I learned from cleaning my house.

Yes. Cleaning.

Stay with me.

The Four Feet Rule

Cleaning is very near the bottom of my list of things I enjoy doing.

I can keep things picked up. I can do the dishes and laundry and all of the normal daily stuff.

But give me a room that needs to be completely cleaned out and organized?

I am immediately overwhelmed.

Because I don’t walk into the room and see one drawer.

I see everything.

The drawer that needs to be cleaned out.

The clothes nobody wears anymore.

The pile that needs to be sorted.

The random thing nobody knows where it belongs, but apparently we’ve decided it belongs in our house forever.

And immediately my brain says:

This is going to take forever.

So instead of starting?

I walk away.

For months, I did this with my daughter Rory’s room. I would walk in, look around and basically think, Nope. Not today.

Then I came across someone on Instagram who cleans incredibly overwhelming spaces, and she kept saying something that stuck with me:

Just do four feet.

Don’t clean the room.

Clean the four feet in front of you.

When those four feet are finished, move on to the next four feet.

Or stop.

And something about that clicked in my brain.

I can do four feet.

I don’t have to give up my entire Saturday.

I don’t have to figure out where every single thing in the room belongs.

I don’t even have to finish the room today.

I just need to take care of what’s directly in front of me.

And you know what happened?

I actually started getting things done.

That’s how I finally cleaned Rory’s room.

And it made me realize that maybe this is exactly what we need to do with strength training, too.

You’re Not Looking at Your First Workout. You’re Looking at the Whole Room.

I think this is where a lot of women over 40 get stuck when they want to start strength training.

You're not thinking about the first workout.

You're thinking about the entire room.

You're trying to figure out the gym, the exercises, the equipment, the weights, the sets, the reps, the schedule, the progression and how you're possibly going to keep doing this for the rest of your life.

No wonder you feel overwhelmed.

Everywhere women in their 40s turn right now, we're being told:

You need to strength train.

And listen, I’m one of the people saying it.

I want you getting stronger. I want you building and maintaining muscle. I want you to be able to do things for yourself as you get older.

But I sometimes wonder if all of us talking about how important strength training is have accidentally made women feel like they have to get all of it right from the beginning.

You need a program.

You need to lift heavy.

You need to progressively overload.

You need enough protein.

You need to strength train three days a week.

You need, you need, you need...

Okay.

Stop.

What Are Your Four Feet?

Instead of asking:

How am I going to become someone who strength trains for the rest of my life?

Ask:

What are the four feet directly in front of me?

Maybe your four feet are doing a 10-minute strength workout in your living room.

Maybe it's choosing two exercises and learning how to do them.

Maybe it's walking into the gym and learning how to use three machines.

Maybe it's putting two 20-minute strength workouts on your calendar this week.

Maybe you already strength train, but you've been in an “off” season. Your four feet might simply be getting yourself back into the gym twice this week.

Or maybe you’ve been using the same 10-pound dumbbells forever, even though you know you could probably lift the 15s.

Your four feet might be picking up the heavier weight and seeing what happens.

You don't need to figure out everything.

Figure out what's next.

Starting Small Doesn't Mean Staying Small

This is an important distinction.

When I tell women they can start with 10 minutes, one workout, or a couple of exercises, one of the first questions is:

“But is that even enough to matter?”

Maybe not forever.

But we're not talking about forever.

We're talking about starting.

If your two choices are:

Think about doing the perfect 45-minute strength workout...

or actually do 10 minutes today...

Do the 10 minutes.

Because 10 minutes gives us something to build on.

Nothing doesn't.

Four feet isn't my cleaning goal, either.

I don't want four clean feet of my house surrounded by complete disaster for the rest of my life.

Four feet is how I get myself moving.

I finish four feet.

Then I can do another four.

And another.

Eventually, I look around and realize:

Wow. I actually got a lot done.

Strength training can work the same way.

Your First Strength Workout Isn't Supposed to Prove Anything

Your first workout isn't supposed to prove how fit you are.

Your first month isn't supposed to show your maximum potential.

You're learning.

You're learning the exercises.

You're learning what works for your body.

You're learning which weights actually challenge you.

You're learning how strength training fits into your week.

You're learning what to do when life gets busy.

And little by little, the thing that once felt enormous starts to feel...normal.

That's what I want for you.

I don't need you to become obsessed with lifting.

You don't have to love the gym.

And you certainly don't have to squat 250 pounds.

I want strength training to stop feeling like this giant thing hanging over your head that you know you're supposed to be doing.

I want it to become something you know how to do.

Something that has a place in your life.

Something you can adjust when life happens.

Something where eventually you walk into your workout and think:

Okay. I know what I'm doing.

And eventually:

I'm someone who does this.

That's how you go from:

“I should lift.”

to

“I do lift.”

Not by figuring out the whole room first.

By doing the four feet in front of you.

How to Start Strength Training This Week

So instead of finishing this blog and thinking, Okay, I really do need to start strength training...

I want you to ask yourself one question:

What am I making bigger than it needs to be right now?

Are you telling yourself you don't have enough time because you're picturing hour-long workouts?

Are you avoiding the gym because you think you need to know how to use everything before you walk through the door?

Are you waiting to find the perfect strength-training program?

Are you waiting until life calms down?

Good luck with that one. 😂

Are you waiting until you feel confident enough to start?

Now ask yourself:

What would my four feet look like?

Make it almost ridiculously doable.

Ten minutes.

One machine.

Two exercises.

Two workouts on the calendar.

One slightly heavier dumbbell.

One question you've been too embarrassed to ask.

Start there.

Because you don't have to feel confident before you start strength training.

Starting is how you build confidence.

Do your four feet.

Then do the next four.

Eventually, you may look back and realize you're doing the thing you spent so much time thinking about doing.

You don't need to clean the whole room today.

Just do the four feet in front of you.

Then keep going.

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