I’m Doing All the Things to Lose Weight…So Why Am I Still Stuck?

You’re eating pretty healthy.

You’re working out.

You’re trying to get enough protein.

You drink your water. You’re working on your sleep. You’re doing all the things you’ve been told you’re supposed to do to lose weight.

And yet every time you step on the scale, you see basically the same number.

Maybe it moves up and down five or ten pounds, but when you look back over the last six months, you realize something:

You’re stuck.

And when you’re a woman in your late 30s, 40s, or 50s dealing with perimenopause on top of everything else, it’s pretty easy to decide you know what the problem is.

It must be my hormones.

My metabolism has slowed down.

My body just doesn’t want to lose weight anymore.

Maybe this is just my perimenopause weight now.

I understand those thoughts more than you might realize.

Because there was a time when I was absolutely convinced my body would not lose weight.

I Was Convinced My Body Was the Problem

And when I say convinced, I mean CONVINCED.

I had a coach at the time who guaranteed I would lose weight and could stay with them until I did.

And I remember thinking, So…you want me to stay with you forever? 😂

That’s how certain I was that my body simply wasn’t going to cooperate.

I ate healthy. I exercised—a lot. If you know me, you know exercise has never exactly been the part I struggle to fit in.

I drank water. I slept. I was active.

I was doing everything I knew I was supposed to do to lose weight.

So when my weight didn’t change, there seemed to be only one possible explanation:

My body was the problem.

And here's something important about that version of me.

I wasn’t lying.

I wasn’t making excuses.

I wasn't secretly eating an entire package of Oreos every night and then telling my coach, “This is so weird. I have absolutely NO idea why I can't lose weight.”

I genuinely believed I was doing everything.

So when a woman tells me today:

“Michelle, I swear I’m doing all the things and I still can’t lose weight.”

I believe her.

But I also know something now that I couldn't see then.

My body wasn't refusing to change.

My body was responding to what I was consistently doing.

And what I was consistently doing happened to be really good at maintaining my weight.

Ouch.

I know. 😂

Eating Healthy Doesn't Automatically Mean Losing Weight

This was a huge shift for me.

Because I really was doing healthy things.

Exercising was good for me.

Drinking water was good for me.

Sleeping was good for me.

Eating nutritious foods was good for me.

Those habits weren't pointless simply because the scale wasn't going down.

But sometimes we accidentally use weight loss as the test for whether a healthy habit is “working.”

I've been eating more protein and haven't lost weight, so protein isn't working.

I've been walking every day and the scale hasn't changed, so walking isn't working.

I've started strength training and haven't lost five pounds, so apparently that's not working either.

No.

Those things can be incredibly valuable for your health even when the scale isn't moving.

Healthy habits and weight loss are related, but they aren't exactly the same thing.

I had created this simple equation in my head:

I eat healthy + I exercise = I should lose weight.

When that equation didn't produce the result I expected, I blamed my body instead of getting curious about the equation.

“But I Really Am Doing Everything”

I recently had a conversation with someone that immediately reminded me of this time in my own life.

She felt like she was doing all the things but was still stuck at a higher weight.

She was trying to get her protein in. She was exercising. She was thinking about her health.

She was trying.

And that's important.

Because the answer isn't:

Well, obviously you're not trying hard enough.

I don't believe that.

But the answer also isn't to immediately slash calories, cut out sugar, give up carbs, add more cardio and “get serious.”

How many times have we already tried that?

Instead, I want you to look at a weight loss plateau differently.

If your weight has stayed within roughly the same range for several months, that's information.

It doesn't mean you're lazy.

It doesn't mean you've failed.

And it doesn't automatically mean perimenopause or your hormones have made it impossible for you to lose weight.

It tells us that your current pattern is maintaining your current weight.

And now we have something useful to work with.

What Does “Doing All the Things” Actually Look Like?

This is where curiosity becomes really important.

Not because we're trying to catch you doing something “bad.”

We're not collecting evidence for the case of You vs. Saturday Night Pizza.

We're trying to see your normal life clearly.

Maybe you eat very nutritious foods, but you're regularly eating beyond comfortable fullness.

Maybe you strength train three times a week—which I absolutely want you to keep doing—but your overall daily movement is much lower than you realize.

Maybe your Monday through Thursday looks completely different from Friday through Sunday.

Maybe there are bites, tastes and handfuls throughout the day that barely register because you never sat down and called them a meal.

Maybe you're barely eating during the first half of the day and then wondering why you can't stop eating at night.

Or maybe you're trying to reach a protein goal that feels impossible and spending every evening thinking you've failed because you didn't hit the perfect number.

None of those things make you bad at weight loss.

They give you information.

Your body doesn't only respond to the things you're proud of.

It responds to the whole pattern.

And that was something I couldn't see when I was convinced I was doing everything right.

I was really good at finding evidence that proved I was doing all the things.

I wasn't nearly as good at looking for the places where something could change.

Before You Try Harder, Pay Attention

Please don't read this and think:

Okay, Michelle says I'm eating too much. Time to cut my food.

That is NOT what I'm saying.

Please don't finish this article and decide tomorrow you're skipping breakfast, giving up carbs and adding another hour of cardio.

We've done that.

We know how that story ends.

Instead, I want you to do something completely different:

Before you decide your body is the problem, make sure you actually understand the pattern.

And that brings me to something I would much rather have you do than start another diet.

Don't Start Over. Do a 7-Day Audit.

Spend one week getting curious.

Not dieting.

Not “being good.”

Not trying to have the healthiest seven days of your life.

In fact, that's really important.

Because you know what happens the second we decide we're going to pay attention to our habits.

Suddenly we're eating more vegetables than we've eaten in the previous six months, carrying around 97 ounces of water, wearing our walking shoes everywhere and meal prepping like it's our full-time job.

LOOK AT ME. I AM A HEALTHY PERSON.

😂

No.

I want to know what your normal life looks like.

Pay attention to when you're hungry and when you're eating simply because food is there.

Notice what happens after dinner.

Look at your actual protein intake instead of what you assume you're getting.

Pay attention to your movement, sleep and stress.

Notice what changes on the weekends.

And notice when you feel comfortably satisfied but continue eating anyway because the food tastes good or everyone else is still sitting at the table.

You don't need a clipboard.

You don't need to judge any of it.

You're simply collecting information.

Information can help you. Shame cannot.

Then Change ONE Thing

At the end of your seven days, please don't make yourself a list of fourteen things you need to fix.

You know that's not how I roll.

Ask yourself:

Where is my biggest opportunity right now?

Maybe you thought you were getting plenty of protein but realize you're consistently falling short. Don't suddenly double your goal. Just work on getting a little more.

Maybe you realize you're barely eating all day and arriving at dinner ravenous.

Maybe you feel like you're constantly running around but discover you're averaging 3,000 steps.

Maybe your weekdays feel really consistent, but your weekends have essentially become a break from your weight-loss goals.

Great.

Now we know something.

Choose one place to start.

Work on it.

See what happens.

You don't have to overhaul your entire life every time the scale stops moving.

Your Body Isn't the Enemy

This is the part I wish I could go back and tell myself.

I spent so much time frustrated with my body because I truly believed it was fighting me.

I thought I was doing my part and my body simply wasn't cooperating.

But my body wasn't sitting there thinking:

Oh, Michelle wants to lose weight? HAHAHA. Not today.

My body was responding to what I was consistently doing.

And when I stopped treating my body like the enemy and started honestly looking at my patterns, I finally had somewhere to go.

Because think about the difference between these two thoughts:

“My body can't lose weight.”

Where do you go from there?

You feel defeated before you even begin.

But what if instead you thought:

“Something about what I'm currently doing is maintaining my weight, and I haven't figured out what needs to change yet.”

Now we have somewhere to go.

That's a problem we can actually work with.

If You're Doing Everything Right but Still Not Losing Weight…

I believe you when you say you're trying.

I also want you to leave a little room for the possibility that there's something you haven't seen yet.

Not because you're failing.

Not because you need more willpower.

Not because you need to work harder.

It's simply really difficult to see our own patterns when we're living inside of them every day.

Sometimes you don't need another diet.

You don't need another workout.

And you definitely don't need another person on Instagram telling you to eat more protein.

Sometimes you need better information.

So instead of asking:

“Why won't my body lose weight?”

Try asking:

“What is my current pattern actually showing me?”

Get curious.

No judgment.

No starting over Monday.

No I'll be good tomorrow.

Just information.

Because once you understand what's actually happening, you can decide what needs to change.

And usually?

It's a whole lot less than you think.

Need Someone to Help You See the Pattern?

This is one of my favorite parts of coaching because most of the women I work with already know a LOT about health and weight loss.

You probably don't need me to tell you that protein is important or that moving your body is good for you.

Sometimes you need someone outside of your own head to look at the whole picture with you and say:

“Okay. Here's where I think we can make this easier.”

We don't change everything.

We figure out what's getting in your way, choose what actually matters right now and work on that.

Because you don't need to try harder at everything.

You need to know where your effort is actually going to make a difference.

If you're a woman over 35 who wants to lose weight, build strength and create habits that actually fit your life, you can learn more about working with me at Transformed Health Coaching.

And remember:

Before you decide your body is the problem, make sure you understand the pattern.