Somebody needs something carried. I'll do it.
Your kids want you to come play. Okay, I'm coming.
There's a suitcase to lift, or a set of stairs between you and wherever you're going. Most of those moments don't feel like fitness goals. They're just everyday life.
But I want to keep having that choice. I want to be the woman who still gets to say, "I'll do it." That's a big part of why I keep showing up for strength training after 40. If "get stronger" still feels like one more thing on the list, this one is for you.
I want to keep having the choice
Now, as a mom of three, I would also love other people to carry their own stuff occasionally. Somehow, I am the carrier of all things. Every single time we get out of the car, I say, get all of your crap out.
But I want the ability to offer. I want to look at something I want to do and feel like my body can help me do it.
My very real reason is simpler. My youngest daughter still likes to be carried.
This kid can climb a rope and run up the hill to our house just for fun. I would be dead doing that. I know her legs work. There is evidence of that. But sometimes she would just prefer that I am her transportation.
There are times I love scooping her up, and times I really don't want to. But sometimes she just wants to be held, and if I do it anyway, it calms everybody down. She's about seventy pounds, and I'm still carrying her around. It's a moment that matters to me.
My husband and I love traveling, and I want to carry my own suitcase, because we always end up running through the airport with bags in our hands. I want to get down on the floor with the kids and feel comfortable getting back up. Someday I want to do that with my grandkids.
I want to hear about something fun and be able to consider going. Maybe I'll stay home. But I want to have the choice.
What about you? It could be the groceries, a staircase that feels like a major negotiation, the garden, a hike, or paddle boarding even if you're afraid you won't be strong enough.
Strength training after 40 needs a reason that actually means something
We hear a lot about strength training for women as we get over forty, especially in perimenopause. Build muscle, lift weights, get stronger. And you might be thinking, yes, Michelle, I know that part. But what does getting stronger actually mean to you?
If I tell you to get stronger, that might sound like another thing to add to your list. If you tell me you want to lift your suitcase on a trip you've been looking forward to, now we have something personal.
I had a client planning a hike with a friend. Our goal was to help her feel more confident on stairs and moving in ways that would help her hike.
"I should take care of myself" can feel so big that it's hard to know where to begin. But if you say, "I want to feel stronger carrying my bag through the airport," great. Now we have a picture.
A personal reason isn't going to make every workout convenient. I have days I'd rather do something else, too. But it gives you a reason to come back when strength training starts feeling like one more appointment to squeeze in.
Your everyday goals belong in the conversation
You can bring these goals to a trainer. Say, "I'm struggling to get things up the stairs," or "I want to feel more comfortable getting down on the floor."
I had a client who wanted to work in her garden. We did squats so she could squat down low and get back up, lunges so she could push herself back up from one leg, and core work because she needed that to get up and down more easily.
One of my clients wanted to carry a watering... not a water bottle. That would be a very big water bottle. A watering bucket? (Yes, that is perimenopause right there. The word was not coming.) She wanted to carry it to water her plants, about twenty to thirty pounds. So we did a farmer's carry, or a suitcase carry, to help her build strength in her forearm and wrist.
Once we found exercises that helped her do what she loved, the workout started making more sense.
You don't need a competition on the calendar for your training to have purpose. You have an actual life you want to participate in, and that is plenty of reason to get started.
Strength training for women over 40 is for this week, too
Sometimes we hear "healthy aging" and picture something very far away. That's way down the road. Right now I just have to get everybody to practice and figure out what in the world we're having for dinner tonight.
But you're using your strength during this part of life, too. You're carrying laundry around. You're moving all your kids' backpacks. I picked up my son's backpack yesterday and thought, it's like a ton. And then I was carrying four backpacks at once, and I was like, y'all have way too much stuff here.
I have worked with a woman in her eighties who strength trains. Her training is very different from mine, because we have different needs and different starting points. She was not out there lifting three hundred pounds in a deadlift. She was lifting to help her do her everyday things.
And she was killing it. Her training was very different from mine, and that's okay. We're supposed to have different starting points.
We also can't control everything about how we age. Health and circumstances can change at any point in our lives. Strength training can improve strength and physical function, but it doesn't give us a guarantee about the future. For me, it's a way to support something I care about now, not just wait until I'm eighty and struggling to do all the things.
Let your progress include what happens outside the workout
Notice whether anything in your day feels different. Maybe you're more comfortable getting up from a chair. Maybe carrying something feels more manageable. Or you feel more confident trying something you would usually hesitate over.
I tried paddle boarding a couple of years back. I knew my body could physically do it, but I was terrified of actually trying. Knowing my body could handle it gave me more confidence to even try.
Sometimes progress begins with understanding your starting point. You try a movement and discover you need an adjustment. I have had clients where I adjusted exercises, not because they couldn't do them, but because those particular ones weren't working. So we adjust.
Maybe someday you pick something up and realize, oh, that felt different.
Write down one thing you want to say "I'll do it" to
Think of one thing you want to be able to say "I'll do it" to. Write it down in your own words.
Maybe it's carrying your sleeping child from the car to the bed, the laundry basket upstairs, the big bag of dog food, or the kayak instead of handing that job to somebody else.
I had someone once who was retiring, and her goal was to carry her paddleboard or kayak to the water every day and get it back to her car without waiting for somebody else. Or maybe you want to rearrange a few things in your house when inspiration hits.
If you have a coach, tell her. You don't have to know the exercises before you can name the goal.
Once you have a plan, give the first workout a place in your week. And when that workout feels like one more thing on your list, come back to what you wrote down.
For me, it might be carrying my daughter while she still wants to be carried, or managing my suitcase when I travel. Someday, I hope it's getting on the floor with my grandkids.
Before your next workout, try asking: "What's one thing I still want to be able to say 'I'll do it' to?"
I want to be the woman who still gets to say, "I'll do it." You can want that, too.
